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Harrowing Through the Sleepless Nights

Dreams and fancies of life that glimmered in his eyes have been washed away by the flood of tears that he has shed for her. The abrupt end of a nurtured relation turned out to be a fake and empty dream, not knowing to keep its words of promises. Those glorious dreams of being together, the maddening urge of holding each other, the divinely trust shared by the two and the humane respect flung to her have now become like a fairy tale told to a sleeping child.

A triumphant victory intricately glued to a miserable failure, the moments of joy eclipsed by shadows of sadness, burst of laughter diluted by tears have become the norms of the days. The furious storm that swept through his life extinguished the flames of hopes leaving behind only the radiance, never to rekindle.

“By the time you graduate from NRTI, you should be able to name a couple or hundred of plants”, A class on Forest (Field) Botany was on full swing. Ugyen, an undergraduate in NRTI was trying his best to collect his mind back to the class. It kept on drifting away to his past days at school, as if it happened a moment ago.

While at school of Mongar, Ugyen and Sonam were best friends, the best of all the best friends, which at about the end of class nine, this relationship took to a new turn of blossoming into a “LOVE”. Since then, they were so besotted to each other in every way as possible, that it was plain for all others to see that their relationship was destined to endure the test of time. The duo loved dearly and sealed their future with oaths of never to betray each other even at the cost of their lives.

Time flew by swiftly and when they awaited the ICSE result, Sonam would tell “Ugyen, I want you to continue your studies by joining college so that I can proudly mention to others that my “going to be a husband is in the college”. However, Ugyen was not very confident with the quality of answers he wrote and with a choking throat he replied, “what if I do not qualify with few marks”. As they could not dared to hurt each other, they left everything to the fate. Well? What does a fate has in store for them? When the result was declared, Ugyen failed to qualify for college. So, as per the suggestion of his going to be a spouse, he opted for Forestry at NRTI and got selected.

Before he left to the institute, he softly spoke to her, “Sonam, now that I’m going away from your warm embraces, let it not be that out of sight is out of mind, you’re the only one whom I care, you are not for anyone else”. When my training is completed, I’ll be back with you to tie nuptial knot, till then, remain as you are now. With sweet kisses to each other, he left. It was a heartbreaking departure but they promised to wait for each other, no matter to what consequences.

When at the institute, they both maintained a close-link through every media possible. Letters and calls kept on pouring in and out, so a day without a call meant scores of worries.

As time went by, Sonam began to falter and hardly responded to Ugyen. Back at RIM, Sonam was to slowly and steadily divert her attention to another man of her fishy choice. Determined to get her back, Ugyen tried every possible ways to win her heart but she turned indifferent and all she replied was” no, please forget me and those bygone days. I am not destined to be yours”. Ugyen could not believe his ears and pretended that she was mocking at her best but a look at her face betrayed her words. Desperately he shook her around and cried aloud ”how dare you could do this? You can’t come to this decision so easily” and he went on to say, “you love me and I love you at the cost of each other’s life.”

Shattered, Ugyen returned to his institute, brooded to digest her unholy decision. It stole his appetite, made him lose interest in his life and went through sleepless nights. October 10, 2000, on the very date that they entered their affair earlier way back in 1997, the Hostel Warden handed him a letter. It was her last, where the last sentence read, “thank you for all you’ve been to me, but now for the reason that I cannot tell myself, I want you to bother me any more. If you ever try to meet me, I’ll meet you only in hell.” The rolling tears betrayed his feelings and the time took its own course harrowing through his sleepless nights.

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